When people ask how I work with children, they often expect a simple answer.
A specific approach.
A defined method.
A clear structure.
But the truth is…I don’t use just one approach.
Because children don’t communicate in just one way.
Children Communicate in Different Ways
Adults often rely on words.
We talk things through. We explain. We reflect.
Children are different. Some children can talk about how they feel. Many cannot.
Instead, they show us.
They show us through:
Their expression is not limited to words, and neither should therapy be.
Drawing: Making the Invisible Visible
Sometimes what a child feels cannot yet be spoken. Through drawing, children begin to place those internal experiences onto paper.
A scribble can hold overwhelm.
A storm can hold anxiety.
A small figure can hold something much bigger.
Drawing helps make the invisible… visible.
Sand: Telling Stories Without Words
In sand play, children create worlds. They build scenes, place figures, bury, uncover, and rearrange.
What may look like simple play often carries deep meaning.
Sand allows children to express experiences symbolically, at a safe distance.
They don’t have to say it. They can show it.
Lego Therapy: Building Understanding
Some children express themselves best through doing. Through building, children can recreate situations, solve problems, and explore relationships.
Pieces come together.
Structures change.
Things fall apart and can be rebuilt.
Through this process, children begin to build understanding, both internally and externally.
Clay: Shaping and Releasing
Clay is sensory, grounding, and powerful.
Children can squeeze, press, roll, and shape, giving form to feelings that may feel overwhelming or unclear.
There is something deeply regulating about working with the hands. And something equally powerful about being able to change what you’ve created.
Nature-Based Therapy: Following the Child
Nature offers something unique.
Space.
Movement.
Calm.
In nature, children often feel freer, less observed, less contained. They can move, explore, and connect in ways that feel natural to them.
Sometimes the most meaningful moments happen:
Fantasy Play: Exploring Safely
In fantasy play, children can become anything.
They can be:
Through imagination, children explore real experiences in symbolic ways.
What cannot be faced directly… can be approached through play.
Movement & Sensory Regulation
Not all expression is still.
Some children need to move in order to process.
They may:
These are not distractions. They are forms of regulation.
When a child’s body feels calmer…their mind becomes more available.
Following the Child
At the heart of my work is this:
I follow the child.
Not the tool.
Not the method.
Not the plan.
The child.
Because each child will show us what they need, if we are paying attention.
Final Thoughts
There is no one right way for a child to express what they feel. And there is no one right way to support them. When we allow for flexibility, creativity, and responsiveness…
We create space for something deeper.
Connection.
Expression.
Understanding.
And ultimately – healing.
Try This Simple Activity
“Choose Your Way to Show Me” Activity
This activity is about giving children choice in how they express themselves.
What you need:
Offer a few simple options:
What to say:
“You can choose how you want to show me how you’re feeling today.”
Then:
Let your child choose.
They might:
Your role:
Stay present.
Notice rather than direct.
You might say:
Why this matters:
Children feel safer when they are not forced into one way of expressing themselves.
Choice creates safety.
And safety allows expression.
Gentle reminder:
You don’t need to interpret or fix what your child does. Being present and interested is often the most powerful part.
Want to Learn More?
If you’re interested in learning how to use these approaches more intentionally, I offer workshops for parents, teachers, and professionals working with children.
👉 Follow Child Therapy Toolbox on Instagram or Facebook
👉 Or get in touch to find out about upcoming workshops